Sleep Deprivation and LCE Deprivation Make Me Grumpy

When I purchased this house last year, I was struck by the serene feeling it evoked in me. Hundreds of birds were quietly chirping, the road noise was minimal, and the house felt to me as though nothing bad had ever happened to it.

So I bought it. I was on the run from the Tricky Man and needed a haven.

And the house has never disappointed me. The neighbours, on the other hand, never fail to disappoint.

I live on a corner. On the other corner are three houses in a row. Filled with people who love to PARTAY and have no issues with listening to ACDC's "TNT" 5 times in a five hour period at full volume.

I am not feeling well, but it isn't anything that penicillan won't cure (heh heh), but was looking forward to a peaceful night's sleep on a Sunday night. At 1:30 a.m. I was jolted awake by:

"RONALD YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE I FUCKING HATE YOU RONALD PUT OUT THE FIRE RONALD BRING ME A FUCKING BEER RONALD."

Both Bob the Dog and I sat bolt upright. I thought "oh goddess, Ronald just bring her that beer so I can get back to sleep." And then there were silence. Prayers answered.

Five minutes later "AND I'M T-N-T...DYNAMITE...T-N-T, I'M OUTTA SIGHT...." so loud that my walls were literally vibrating.

"Ugh" I thought, and reached for the phone. I called the non-emergency number and said "Hi, it's [Killer] again. Yeah. They're at it again. Yep, only played it once so far, but it IS Sunday night. Yep. That would be great. Thanks. Yes, they ARE assholes. Thanks. Bye."

It must have been a busy night for my police friends. It took them an hour to come. In the meantime, I was just dropping off to sleep when I heard "pop pop pop pop" followed by a scream.

Fireworks? Gun fire? Bob wasn't taking any chances, and crawled on top of me, shaking and looking for protection. Thanks, 92-pound guard dog.

Within 10 minutes 5 police vehicles descended on the neighbourhood. There were spotlights and red and blue lights everywhere. If it hadn't been a school night I would have sat on my deck and watched the show.

I couldn't tell if any arrests were made, but about an hour later, after all this activity, I heard the following exchange:

Cop: "SO YOU ARE GOING TO SHUT DOWN THE LOUD PARTY NOW, RIGHT?"

Mouth-breathing Troglodyte: "FUCK YOU. I KNOW MY RIGHTS. AND I GOTTA FIGHT FOR MY RIGHT TO PARTY." Yes friends, he DID quote the Beastie Boys.

Cop: "NO SERIOUSLY. YOU GOTTA SHUT IT DOWN, OR I'LL HAVE TO TAKE YOU GUYS TO JAIL." No really, I thought, take them. I don't mind.

Mouth-breathing Trogoldyte: "YEAH FUCK, WHATEVER."

Cop: "WELL, OK THEN." What, what, what??? That didn't sound very sincere to me. Come on!! You aren't going to believe him and leave the neighbourhood to his tender mercies, are you?

So the police left. And I guess, gentle reader, it wouldn't surprise you that they didn't shut it down. And they did play TNT a few more times. Because that is how they roll. So my mission: get them the hell out of my neighbourhood. Mark my words, I WILL ensure that they leave. My sick days were not intended to catch up on sleep lost because of inconsiderate ass clowns.

In other news, Liquid Chocolate Eyes is once again pulling a disappearing act. So I am about ready to pull the plug and put my line back in the water. How is it that one week a guy can be making you cheesecake and giving you a back rub, and the next week he barely talks to you? Weird. And you know, that is probably making me more grumpy than the assclowns across the street. Boys suck.