Well....

The test I laid out for The Tricky Man was a good one. He failed.

We were on the road for about 40 minutes when his phone rang. It was his half-brother, who lives in Edmonton. From the conversation, it was clear that he had a) told his brother that we were coming and b) that there was an expectation that we would be meeting up with the brother and sister-in-law.

This was the first trip we had had alone together in 4 years.

We had just over two days to spend together.

I spent my whole ski vacation with his family in December.

So I got mad.

Not a good start.

When we got to our hotel room, he walked in and immediately turned on the t.v..

We did have a nice nap, eventually, and then went to a good East Indian restaurant on Whyte Avenue (Origin India gets a shout out here - fabulous). But the next day I got force-marched through IKEA for 6 hours, leaving little time for me to get to Whyte Avenue shops, or the Old Strathcona Famer's Market, or do anything else that was interesting.

That night he insisted on going to the Olive Garden, ate himself into oblivion and then fell asleep with mouth gaping in our romantic hotel room at 8:30 p.m.. This meant of course my desire to see some live music at Blues on Whyte or the Urban Lounge was left unaddressed. Never mind any, ahem, romance.

TheTricky Man in a Carbo Coma:

He slept through the night until 4:00 am, when he turned on the T.V.. Grr.

The next day we had a whole bunch of Tricky Man drama, because he refused to let me drop him off somewhere for 2 1/2 hours, and instead insisted on driving me out to Hobbema. And he was ....wait for it....3 hours late to pick me up. I sat in the waiting room at the Wetaskiwin RCMP detachment for 3 hours waiting for him. His excuse - he had gone back to IKEA and had lost track of time.

He did apologize, and treated me to supper at the Keg, but, as with everything on the trip, he found fault with the Keg and spent most of the meal complaining about the noise from the kitchen.

So, I may have lost it on him as we drove through the storm to come home. He stopped in my town to drop me off, after about 2 1/2 hours of silence in the car. I offered him my spare bed in light of the time. He refused, asked for a hug goodbye, and said "See ya" and stormed off to his truck.

I spent a mostly sleepless night, tossing and turning. As much as I am happier on my own, away from him, and I know that a one-way relationship is soul-destroying, I have to admit I am scared of dying alone, of never having children, and of never having someone with whom I could share my life. And, despite my kvetching about The Tricky Man, well, he isn't COMPLETELY bad or horrible. He can be affectionate and funny and sometimes even tender. Is something better than nothing??